Static
by It'sHardToBelieve
Summary: When Shizuo starts acting a little odd, Izaya does the most reasonable thing possible.


It started with a simple string of logic.

His little…crush…had branched out beyond his control. Surely, beyond the limits of reason. Or perhaps…it was reasonable? After all, Shizu-chan was behaving so mysteriously over the last few weeks and Izaya, of all people, couldn't understand why. Oh, it was actually rather subtle, Izaya would give him that. But even he couldn't be sure if Shizu-chan was doing it on purpose or not.

He wouldn't be able to get information out of Shizu-chan's loyal friends or brother. He could tell it was something maybe only a couple of people knew of like Celty and Kasuka and he wouldn't be able to get anything out of them, he was sure.

Moreover, it wasn't as though he could just directly walk right up to Shizu-chan's place, desperately pound his fists loudly on the door and ask him. No, hardly the thing to do. It lacked propriety and control. It was purely irrational and lacked elegance.

So Izaya bugged the place. The rational course of action.

Microphones were small enough and functional enough that they could be hidden well enough for Shizu-chan not to find them. Cameras were riskier, so he forgoed their usage. But his Shizu-chan was a beast and he couldn't risk him smelling that Izaya had been in his apartment, so he had a lackey take care of that task. Being…well, Izaya, certainly had its benefits.

Regardless, after a few days, he suspected something was wrong. He tried to listen in on Shizu-chan several times, yet everything seemed…muted and scratchy. Either Shizu-chan was quieter in his own home than Izaya thought, or there was an issue. Or perhaps it was both.

One night, Izaya did the unthinkable.

And it was all Shizu-chan's fault.

Finally, on this night, Izaya could hear him, though not without limits. So that's what the problem was; he could hear some things but there was a lot of static whenever something or someone made noise in Shizu-chan's apartment. No wonder there were issues.

Wasn't it true that you get what you pay for? That being the case, he'd have to _have words_ with the product manufacturer, his lackey, or both.

In any case, it seemed Shizu-chan was finally talking. Though not to himself, it seemed. He had to be on the phone.

But it was hard to hear much at all; there was much of the conversation cutting out with static.

"-glad to hear that," clearly Shizu-chan's voice.

"_-asking, Brother_," there came the voice of the younger Heiwajima, sounding like an echo. Was he on speakerphone?

This was followed by a loud clang. What was going on?

"_-making-"_

"-broccoli-rice-"

Was Shizu-chan cooking?

Izaya's brows furrowed in thought. He was a highly intelligent person, so he felt like whatever words he could make out, he'd likely understand what was going on.

That didn't make it any less frustrating.

The slight sounds of chopping made themselves known in between the words of the Heiwajima brothers.

"I-trying-usual-"

"_-try to-something-tell-"_

"-talking about-just-it go-"

"_-go-such a-denial-healthy-"_

"-not-as much as-want-him-"

The sounds of chopping continued, accompanied by running water now and again.

"Besides-know that-best"

"_-happiness-"_

Shizu-chan chuckled in clear amusement. Izaya felt his stomach and his face heat up in response, and promptly ignored it. Yes, ignoring it is what he did.

There was the sound of someone dumping water.

"-Izaya-so long-happy-I-satisfied with that"

"_-hatred-hide-game-continues-lasting-"_

Izaya's eyes widened. Just what was it these two were talking about? Naturally, he hadn't missed his name being brought up in the conversation. Were they talking about…him? What was this about a game and hiding?

And Shizu-chan had said his name. And Shizu-chan had said it without malice. And Shizu-chan had sounded…happy.

Was that the sound of his heart racing?

What _was_ this?

"-even pretending-give-Izaya-wants"

There it was again, his name. It was followed by what sounded like Kasuka sighing.

"_You're-hurting-masking-deserves"_

"-what I want"

"_-doesn't mean-"_

"-can't-that to-"

"_Izaya-more than-fell-"_

"-don't-faking-"

"_-he wants-satisfied?"_

The conversation started to sound heated, and Izaya poured more concentration into listening.

"-thinking-never-return-"

"_-see-feelings-know-"_

"He-just-live-truth-"

"_-understand why-Izaya-pretending to-"_

"It's-pretend-dream to-love-"

"_-as long as-seriously-consider-love-"_

Izaya's fists clenched, and he bit his lip. Could it be?

"There's-he's-love with-"

"_Don't-so just-thinking-alright?"_

"-worry-content-he's not-"

Kasuka sighed again.

"_Fine."_

There was silence now, interrupted only by the sounds of food mixing and what sounded like something boiling.

Izaya had to know, had to confirm his reasoning. He found desperation in his now racing thoughts.

"Anyway-about-Ruri-chan?"

He couldn't take it anymore. His brain and his body couldn't take it anymore. Taking a deep breath and putting some pieces together in his mind, he stood.

He took off his listening device.

He slipped on his jacket, his shoes, and dashed out the door.

He ignored his burning heart and his burning mind as he ran through the cold night.

Sometimes, when he looked at Izaya, it was hard to breathe.

It wasn't that he would be paralyzed or anything like that. No, his heart rate would just sky rocket, higher than during one of his infamous rages. So, he'd just pretend that he was panting out of fury as opposed to the real reason. As opposed to telling Izaya that he literally takes his breath away.

He was in love with his arch enemy.

With Izaya, the flea.

Who would've thought?

Well, Kasuka had.

Sometimes he and Kasuka would talk on the phone when he was at home, in his own apartment.

Even though over the last few months that topic of conversation tended to go the same way time and time again, it kept on being brought up by Kasuka.

Of course, his brother was just worried about him, so Shizuo didn't mind.

Still…he thought the conversations were fruitless; he'd never tell Izaya, the informant didn't feel the same way, so it didn't matter.

Izaya hated him. It hurt less to pretend that the feeling was mutual. And Shizuo was good at pretending; the gift of acting seemed to run in the family. Izaya was so intent to make Shizuo feel the same way that Shizuo gave him what he wanted: his fake hatred. If it was the thing Izaya wanted, Shizuo happily gave it to him.

In fact, he wasn't even sure how long he'd been doing this for.

He threw punches and objects at Izaya even though all he really wanted was to hold him, never let him go.

But Shizuo was becoming more content with it. Izaya gave him attention, after all. They still spoke, still interacted. Izaya would smile that dazzling smile of his.

And that was enough for Shizuo.

He smiled, thinking about it. About him.

Tonight, he'd just hung up with Kasuka after one of their long chats on the phone. Izaya had come up again in conversation, of course.

Kasuka was telling him to just tell Izaya about his real feelings. He understood why; Kasuka hated seeing his brother hurting.

Shizuo could acknowledge that his acting was starting to slip in front of Izaya recently: he'd started smiling at the flea lately, not noticing it. He'd not run after him in a "rage" as often and his own thrown barbs certainly held less and less poisonous tones over time. Chances were good the informant would try to find out about it. But Shizuo would redouble his efforts to keep Izaya thinking that the hatred was mutual, and things would go back to normal.

His bleeding heart would have to deal with it, as always.

Shizuo sighed, sitting down at his dining room table. He didn't always cook but when he did, it was usually too much for himself; it was hard to cook for one.

That was when he was interrupted by a repetitive sound. It was a loud, desperate pounding of fists against his front door.

"…who the hell…?" he muttered under his breath.

Getting up, he went to answer the door to the last person he expected to be there.

It was Izaya, red-faced, panting, and looking at him with determined eyes.

He frowned.

It would be damned hard to keep up his mask now.

Izaya caught his breath, finally. Of course, it was only after Shizu-chan answered the door. But he didn't care anymore. Screw propriety and dignity.

It was the least elegant means of gathering information he'd ever gone through with, but the informant didn't care anymore.

He just wanted answers.

No matter what.

He couldn't leave this up to what he'd managed to piece together. He had to confirm with the source directly.

Shizu-chan looked dumbfounded for just a moment, standing in the doorway. And oh- there it was…a mask. A very familiar mask, but it was a mask nonetheless and it was now that Izaya saw it, that he realized it.

There was a frown decorating Shizu-chan's face now. Oh, it was convincing, sure. But it didn't fool Izaya. Not anymore.

So…he was right.

He had to be.

Interestingly, Shizu-chan stood aside, letting Izaya enter.

The former bartender shut the door behind him and spoke, facing Izaya again.

"What the hell do you want, flea?" he growled.

It didn't have any bite, though.

Nothing real, anyway. How did Izaya not see it or hear it before…?

Izaya smiled a small, sad smile. All he could do was look at Shizuo, looking for the real one.

"How?"

Shizu-chan's frown grew.

"How _what_?"

Izaya looked away. As was tonight's trend, he was thrown off and things were not so predictable. At this point he could hardly believe what was happening, but he could only push forward.

"How do you feel about…me?" he asked softly.

Shizuo stiffened visibly.

"I don't know what you-"

Izaya's head shot back up and their gazes connected.

"Don't think you can fool me any longer, Shizu-chan!"

The mask cracked.

Good.

"I'm me, after all – did you think I wouldn't find out?!"

And that was when Shizuo's face fell somber. He looked resigned.

Izaya waited for him to speak. He wouldn't let Shizu-chan play dumb.

"Sorry…Izaya," he spoke. His low tones reverberated throughout Izaya's head. "I just…wanted to give you what you wanted," Shizuo explained.

_What?_

"You hate me, I know…and you always wanted me hating you too, so I…just wanted to make you happy. If you were happy with us hating each other, then…so be it," he looked away, seemingly unable to look at Izaya.

Before he could stop himself, Izaya spoke.

"I'm not."

Shizuo looked back at him, and Izaya felt effectively captured in those eyes.

"Not? Not…happy?"

He flushed and simply shook his head.

For a few moments they stood, staring each other down.

"I guess I knew deep down you'd find out somehow…Izaya."

Izaya truly enjoyed the way Shizuo said his name so calmly and with that tender emotion in his voice.

But could he ever say so?

"You didn't answer my question…Shizuo."

Shizuo's eyes widened just a fraction. It was true that Izaya never used his proper name. Until now.

This was wildly unexpected.

He might've known that Izaya would figure him out at some point.

But the idea that his feelings might be reciprocated or even just something close? Impossible.

And yet…

Maybe Kasuka was right.

He couldn't help himself.

Watching for Izaya to move away, he stepped toward him until they were just a few inches away. Yet, Izaya didn't move. He had a determined look in his eyes again. Shizuo raised his right hand and caressed his flea's face. It seemed Izaya couldn't hold back a tiny gasp at that.

'Here goes nothing,' he swallowed his anxiety and spoke.

"I love you…Izaya."

There it was.

He now confirmed it with his own ears. Hell, with all his senses.

Feeling his face heat up again, he grasped Shizuo's hand with his own, moving it between their chests.

"I…I…may understand something about how you feel."

It was all he could admit to…and yet, there was that smile.

Oh yes…Izaya was positively smitten.

Shizuo gestured toward the table.

"…wanna stay for dinner?"

Izaya smiled back.


End file.
